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Conan O’Brien Drops The Mic After This Hilarious Jay Cutler Zinger

jay cutler conan

Jay Cutler undoubtedly is no stranger to being the talk of the NFL world. It’s happened enough times to where he’s used to it. However, he probably is entering uncharted territory thanks to his scandalous wife Kristin Cavallari. She put him in the headlines again, but not for his football play. Oh no. This time it came courtesy of an Instagram post showing the 33-year old former Chicago Bears quarterback facing the ocean with exactly zero clothing on.

Needless to say the picture set social media ablaze. An actual professional quarterback baring it all. Whether he signed off on it is a mystery, but there is no question he offered easy content for comedians everywhere. Memes began popping up across Twitter and Facebook, getting creative with the image.

The Jay Cutler Conan Bomb

There are several great ones. Still, the absolute nail-on-the-head one-liner for this wacky situation has to belong to late night host Conan O’Brien. In fact he only needed 17 seconds of air time to completely sum up how Bears fans are feeling.

HEY-OH! Take a bow, Conan. That is a finely crafted joke. As veteran comics would put it, “There isn’t an ounce of fat on that bone.” Indeed it seems rather fitting that Cutler ended his Bears career with two lasting images. Lying on the turf of MetLife Stadium in New York with an injured shoulder having just thrown a game-ending interception. Followed up by a weird, controversial incident off the field that kinda sorta wasn’t started by him.

Word persists that the quarterback is about ready to retire after 11 seasons in the NFL. Probably a good idea at this point. Everybody with a lick a common sense knows he’ll be bombarded by questions about that photograph for weeks and months were he to return. The last thing he wants is to give guys like Conan more ammunition.

For the record? Cutler was sacked 256 times as a quarterback for the Bears. This one probably won’t count.

How Much Should The Blackhawks Pay Richard Panik?

Panik

It’s funny to think that a little over a year ago the trade that sent Richard Panik to the Blackhawks barely even registered as a footnote in comparison to the other moves taking place throughout the NHL at the time.

After all, what the Blackhawks gave up for the 24-year old, who, by that time had already been designated by many as a bust, wasn’t exactly TSN Breaking News-worthy either. The deal sent Jeremy Morin – who, by now, must find himself on the heels of Jaromir Jagr for the greatest number of frequent flyer miles and address changes in the history of the NHL – to Toronto in exchange for Panik. Essentially, it was what beer-bellied, barstool analysts out there might describe as a “garbage for garbage” trade. A move you’d need a magnifying glass to unearth in the fine-print of the back page of the daily sports section.

Toronto had taken a flyer on the once highly-touted prospect, acquiring Panik off waivers from Tampa Bay the season prior. It wouldn’t take either side long, though, to realize the marriage simply wouldn’t work.

After skating 76 games and showing glimmers of production for Toronto during the 2014-2015 season, Panik failed the crack the Leafs’ opening night roster and would spend the remainder of his brief and disappointing tenure with the Maple Leafs buried in the AHL before being shipped off to Chicago later that season.

During his first half-season with the Blackhawks Panik again found himself a frequent healthy scratch, regularly being passed over for other forwards like Brandon Mashinter.

Fast forward a little over a year later and, in true testament to the cliche “it’s crazy what a year can do,” Panik has transformed himself from trade footnote and frequent scratch in 2015-2016 to one of the Blackhawks’ cornerstones in what might be one of the NHL’s most impressive and surprising single player turnarounds this season.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtdiGinmrgA

Describing Panik, himself, as irreplaceable would be getting a little ahead of ourselves. There’s few players in the NHL who are truly irreplaceable and Richard Panik, certainly, is not one of them. Panik’s contributions to the Blackhawks overall success, on the other hand, have been irreplaceable – especially considering the low expectations seemingly everyone with two eyes and a partially-functioning brain had for him upon entering the season.

Rather, Panik has transformed himself from lineup usurper to bonafide top line winger. In 77 games, which have primarily been spent solidifying one of the pivotal wings alongside Jonathan Toews on the Blackhawks top line, Panik has nearly equaled his total career output in goals, assists and points during this season alone. With 42 points at $875,000, you’d be hard-pressed to find a more effective, bang-for-your-buck player in the NHL right now.

Now for the three words that induce night-sweats in Blackhawks fans more severely than any other three words in the English language, Panik is due to hit restricted free agency this summer.

Sorry for triggering the dormant memories of Brandon Saad resting harmlessly in your subconscience.

Now, unlike the debacle that lost Saad to Columbus in the summer of 2015, it isn’t necessarily losing Panik that worries me. As I said, he’s a solid player and yet another example of Stan Bowman’s mythical ability to conjure greatness out of flaming bags of dog turds. It’s overpaying for Richard Panik that frightens my cap-weary self.

While a great story – equaling his career stats in a single season, helping to right the apparent sinking Toews ship, evolving into a key piece to a likely first place Blackhawks finish etc. – we’ve only seen a single season of this Richard Panik.

Unfortunately, agents don’t get paid to use the same rationality we unbiased spectators possess.

NameGoals PointsCap Hit
Tanner Pearson, 24, Los Angeles Kings2342$1.4 million
Elias Lindholm, 22, Carolina Hurricanes1143$2.7 million
Victor Rask, 24, Carolina Hurricanes1643$4 million
Tomas Tatar, 26, Detroit Red Wings2342$2.75 million
Alex Galchenyuk, 23, Montreal Canadiens1642$2.8 million
Gustav Nyquist, 27, Detroit Red Wings1042$4.75 million
Jakob Silfverberg, 26, Anaheim Ducks2245$3.75 million
Jason Zucker, 25, Minnesota Wild2146$2 million

 

Above I compiled a list of players across the NHL comparable to Panik in age, statistical output and cap hits for this season.

As you can deduce for yourself, Panik, by all accords, should be in for a substantial pay raise this summer.  While, I in no way believe his cap hit for next season will extend nearly as north as Nyquist’s or Rask’s, I still find myself perturbed that it will fall somewhere in the middle – which is still a bit too much for a player who, throughout the better part of career, has been trapped in a revolving door between the minors and NHL.

By all accounts, centerman Marcus Kruger is primed to become the Blackhawks most noteworthy expansion draft casualty this off-season. This, in return, should free up just over $3-million in cap space. Space which, in theory – at least a percentage of – is likely to be offered to Panik.

The arm-chair GM in me wouldn’t give Panik the full $3-million leftover from Kruger’s hypothetical departure. A long-term extension at $3-million is a risk the Blackhawks cannot attempt to make at the moment, especially when you consider the crop of young studs they have at their disposal who, before you know it, will be restricted free agents of their own.

If I’m Stan Bowman I try my best to go the bridge-contract route, just as he did with Artemi Panarin, and attempt to retain Panik for a risk-free, trial-run of a two year extension in the ballpark of $1.5-$2-million per year. This way Panik can solidify his worth over the next season or two and then cash out the next time he hits free agency.

But, as hazards associated with restricted free agency will have it, it isn’t what the Blackhawks believe Panik is worth, it’s what potential bidders and those mangy offer sheets believe he’s worth. Regardless, I don’t see a bidding war in Panik’s future. This isn’t Brandon Saad we’re talking about.

The New Bryzzo Commercial Came Out And It Is Amazing

The Bryzzo Souvenir Co is expanding and all Chicago Cubs will love it. No longer is it just Anthony Rizzo and Kris Bryant, as Addison Russell, Javier Baez, Ben Zobrist and Kyle Schwarber have come aboard as well. Plus, there’s a special intern as well.

Bryzzo needs a jingle too, but no worries they have a man for the job.

Obviously biased here, but I will never get tired of everything that goes around the Cubs. This team is great. The front office is great. The players are great. The manager is great. The coaches are great. The Bryzzo Souvenir Co is great.

Plus, this new video gives everyone a chance to make their new favorite gifs. Go crazy kids.

Chicago Bears Jersey Number History Says This QB Must Be Avoided

bears jersey number history
Credit: AP

The Chicago Bears jersey number history. It’s a fun topic for casual fans. It can become a serious topic for the more superstitious ones. Often people can become convinced a players’ fate is tied directly to which number they decide to wear. Going with #53 at linebacker? Feel free to update travel plans to a new team within a couple years. Meanwhile #81 has been very kind to both the wide receiver and defensive line positions over the long decades.

Football, like many other sports, can be weird that way. Perhaps no position explains this better than the quarterbacks. The position has been so underwhelming for so long that fans have resorted to categorizing by levels of bad. They range from okay to utterly horrific. Often even the simplest details like jersey numbers are factored in because people like using math. This despite hating it so very much in school.

So this leads into the inevitable question. Based on jersey history, which quarterback(s) might Chicago want to steer clear of in the upcoming NFL draft?

Bears jersey number history at QB

Deshaun Watson (#4)

  • Connor Barth
  • Jay Feely
  • Brad Maynard
  • Moses Moreno
  • John Roveto
  • Steve Fuller
  • Jim Harbaugh
  • Steve Walsh

Patrick Mahomes (#5)

  • George McAfee
  • Billy Stone

Mitch Trubisky (#10)

  • Louie Aguiar
  • Doug Brien
  • Rudy Bukich
  • Henry Burris
  • Al Campana
  • Todd Collins
  • Bobby Douglass
  • Jaret Holmes
  • Dirk Johnson
  • Max Komar
  • Olindo Mare
  • Tommy O’Connell
  • Connor Shaw
  • Kordell Stewart
  • Peter Tom Willis
  • Marquess Wilson

DeShone Kizer (#14)

  • Ken Gorgal
  • Brian Griese
  • Wayne Hansen
  • Santonio Holmes
  • Deonte Thompson
  • Willie Thrower
  • Eric Weems

The results are fairly clear. Kizer and Trubisky both have their fair share of volume, but not much in the way of value. Specifically the string of quarterbacks who wore #10 and #14 was a parade of disappointment. Even the other positions failed to conjure any former Bear of even reasonable esteem. Not a good sign.

It might be a surprise that the #5 had so few entrants on the list but that’s because it’s retired. Two players have worn that number in Chicago history dating back to the 1920s. Two. Mahomes though got a welcome boost because one of those players to wear it was George McAfee, a three-time NFL champion and Hall of Famer. So there’s the answer to that. However, the nod would go to #4 anyway.

Improvement is never bad

It’s hardly a who’s-who jersey compared to others but there is no doubt the quality easily outstrips the others. Good news for Watson. Three notable quarterbacks wore it, all of whom had a positive impact on the franchise. Steve Fuller was the reliable backup on the 1985 Super Bowl team. Jim Harbaugh and Steve Walsh both got the team to the playoffs once or twice. Again, not ideal but something to work with. It also included a very solid punter in Brad Maynard.

Of course this will lead neatly into the next question. What does Bears jersey history have to say regarding Mike Glennon? Fair question. Also not an answer the 27-year old quarterback may want to hear. Rather than take a new number, Glennon decided to stick with his preferred #8 that he wore in Tampa Bay. Understandable enough, but also indicative of a man who didn’t do his homework.

See, the #8 has somewhat of a luckless reputation in Chicago. Specifically regarding the quarterbacks position. Among the brigade of ugly include names like Jimmy Clausen, Vince Evans, Rex Grossman, and (gulp) Cade McNown. That literally might be the lineup of the worst QBs the Bears have fielded during the Super Bowl era. A bad omen if ever there was one.

So if nothing else, switching to a quarterback who wears #4 like Watson would be at least a step in the right direction. The number they might want to shoot for in the future, or even convince Watson to wear? That would be #9. Why? The last two quarterbacks to win a championship in Chicago, Jim McMahon (1985) and Bill Wade (1963) wore that digit.

Chicago Blackhawks Named In Lawsuit For Mishandling Concussions

During the 2009 Western Conference Final, Blackhawks player Martin Havlat received a crushing blow from Detroit Red Wings player Niklas Kronwall. The hit left Havlat unconscious and and without movement. Two days later, he was back on the ice but only to leave the game after suffering another hit. Some may have forgotten about this, but it’s back in the news because of a lawsuit against the NHL.

An unnamed team doctor questioned the the Blackhawks’ handling of the head injury and sent an email to Dr. Willem Meeuwisse, a member of the NHL’s Concussion Working Group. The 2009 email was unsealed by a federal judge on Tuesday according to a TSN report.

“I am once again disappointed in my colleagues in the (National Hockey League Team Physicians Society),” the unnamed team doctor wrote, according to the TSN report. “We all sit around and talk and talk about concussion management. Then it’s the playoffs, someone suffers an obvious loss of consciousness and is back playing in less than 48 hours.”

“This same Chicago player was hit hard again today and was unable to continue in the game. Another example of situational ethics. Our only job is to protect the players from harm including when the player is ‘clearing’ himself to play. We must be their advocate regardless of what the coach or general manager thinks.”

Meeuwisse removed the doctor’s name from the emails because the comments could cause quite a stir.

Judge Susan Richard Nelson unsealed some other documents in the lawsuit, including statements from league commissioner Gary Bettman from a general managers’ meeting in 2013-2014. Bettman said the media was in a “hysterical period” in reporting concussions and demands that the league do more to watch and prevent head injuries.

In what seems like the commissioner wanting to sweep this under the rug he wrote, “We should not have this debate publicly whether you support it or not. You can do what you want but it is being made more important than it is. Ken Dryden’s book and Bobby Orr’s books come out with conflicting views. Having this public debate is not good. Please don’t speak to the media about it. Helping the media with the controversy of the issue doesn’t help things.”

The league continues to deny any links between CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) and the hitting and fighting associated with the sport. The NHL’s director of officiating Stephen Walkom had this to say just this week, “Ya love it, much to the dismay of the tree huggin, never played sport, leftist doctors…that soon won’t let us climb stairs for fear of concussion…”

The Blackhawks have declined to comment at this time.

 

 

10 BOLD Predictions For The 2017 Chicago Cubs

Well folks, it’s that time of year again when sports writers from across the nation start to give their incorrect predictions on how they envision their favorite baseball team’s season unfolding.

While I’m not that much different, I’m also a lot more accurate.

Last year, I wrote five bold predictions for the Chicago Cubs and I’m proud to say that four of the five were correct. I’m still a bit pissed that my “three-30 home run hitters” didn’t come true due to the Schwarber injury but the fact that Addison Russell almost helped me go five for five by hitting 21 home runs last year made me feel a little bit better.

So since I hit it out of the park last year and they ended up winning it all, I feel obligated to step it up this year and give you my TEN bold predictions for the 2017 Chicago Cubs.

Let’s hope my accuracy rate stays as high this year.

_____________________________________________________________________

10. The Cubs Will Win + 110

The Chicago Cubs just won the World Series and the North Side is going crazy. (Photo courtesy of Fox Sports)

It’s strange to think that this years team could possibly be BETTER than the 2016 World Series team but there are too many signs to ignore. The addition of lefty Brett Anderson, Albert Almora Jr. potentially filling Dexter Fowler’s void, and Jason Heyward’s ability to not suck all lead to the Cubs improving on their 103 wins last season.

Also, you have to take into consideration that Cincinnati and Milwaukee are both absolutely atrocious, Pittsburgh is trending down, and the Cubs have seemingly owned the St. Louis Cardinals the past few seasons which leads to a LOT of potential W’s for the Cubs in the NL Central.

Granted, the Cubs will have to stay as healthy as they did last year but if that’s the case, I see no reason why they should not improve their win total by AT LEAST seven from last year.

Scottie Pippen Attacks Old Coach, Blames Phil Jackson For Knicks Failure

scottie pippen attacks phil jackson new york knicks
(Photo: NY Post)

Championship bonds last forever, but that doesn’t mean you can’t call someone out for doing a poor job later in their career. Just ask Scottie Pippen. The six-time NBA champion with the Chicago Bulls scorched his former coach and mentor Phil Jackson on ESPN’s The Jump on Thursday afternoon. While discussing the many problems facing the New York Knicks, Pippen said it all comes down to Jackson, the team’s president since March of 2014.

“To be honest with you, I’m gonna have to go at my old coach, Phil Jackson. I just think he hasn’t put the right pieces on the floor. I give a lot of credit to Carmelo, who has been very professional in getting through this 82-game season, and now he’s being benched to some degree… But this team really just hasn’t had it. They haven’t had it since Phil Jackson landed there.” – Scottie Pippen

Ouch. Scottie didn’t hold any punches on that one.

Big Bad Apple

In the three seasons since Jackson took over basketball decisions at Madison Square Garden, the Knicks have a combined record of 77-162. That’s a measly .322 winning percentage. Already mathematically eliminated from playoff contention this season, the Knicks woefully under-performed after Jackson made some splash moves last summer.

Bringing in former Bulls staples Derrick Rose (via trade) and Joakim Noah (free agency) hasn’t yielded great results. Rose has unsurprisingly battled various nagging injuries, and Noah’s 4 year, $72 million contract looks like a humongous mistake. Rose made one of his classic foot-in-mouth comments last summer, referring to the Knicks as a “superteam.” But Carmelo and his sidekicks still can’t figure out Phil’s triangle offense, and coach Jeff Hornacek has looked helpless on the sidelines all season. In addition, Phil’s made things worse by bashing his big star Anthony to the media. That relationship is in rough shape.

Pippen doubled down on his stance that Phil deserves most of the blame and Anthony is the victim of an ugly situation.

“There has not been any upside to think that the New York Knicks were gonna be a contender, and I just feel bad for Carmelo having to go through this and having to deal with it… I’m sure the fans will love to see Carmelo in New York and Phil out.” – Scottie Pippen

When asked if Knicks owner James Dolan should fire Jackson or demand his resignation, Scottie didn’t hesitate: “Yes.”

Dolan is recently on record saying he will honor the remainder of Jackson’s original contract of 5 years and $60 million. That means two more seasons as president of a floundering organization. Will Dolan change his tune? Can Jackson make some readjustments this offseason to right the ship and silence critics like his former pupil Pippen? That seems like a tall task at this point.

Jackson has taken lots of heat for his job performance since reuniting with his beloved Knicks. Fans in New York had high hopes for one of their favorite old players steering the dormant franchise back to relevance. 11 rings between Chicago and L.A. had the mark of a stacked resume. But Knicks fans quickly relearned that leading from the sidelines and leading from the president’s office are two very different tasks. Right now, Jackson is failing at the latter.

Phil’s old workhorse Scottie Pippen put him on blast. He wasn’t the first, and he surely won’t be the last.

Brandon Marshall Sees “That” Jay Cutler Photo and His Reaction is Priceless

brandon marshall jay cutler

It’s no secret that the Brandon Marshall Jay Cutler relationship didn’t end on the best of terms with the Chicago Bears. Marshall grew frustrated with his longtime quarterback. According to rumor he was upset Jay didn’t have his back for him when the new regime arrived in 2015. Marshall was traded to the New York Jets soon after. There he couldn’t resist taking some media potshots at his former friend.

Over time though Marshall seems to have backed off his comments and resumed a stance of respect and love for Cutler. So like any friend he was understandably blindsided (and delighted) when TMZ revealed the now infamous Kristin Cavallari Instagram post of Cutler nude. His bare rear end there for the world to see.

Marshall’s reaction? About what you’d expect.

People are still trying to figure out what compelled Cutler to agree to let his wife do that. No doubt the media are just itching for another team to sign him so they can ask. However, word is strong in the insider community and the 33-year old is about ready to retire. Not giving them the satisfaction.

Marshall will continue his relentless pursuit of being able to play in his first playoff game ever. Something he’s never been able to do. He fell just short with Denver in 2008. Then again with Chicago in 2013 and the Jets in 2015. Now he’s signed on with the New York Giants, who just went to the postseason this past year. He might be enjoying Jay being the “butt” of jokes across social media, but he best be careful.

His reputation seems to come back and bite him when things start go south.

Nikola Mirotic Catches Fire Vs Cavaliers, TNT Bulls Streak Lives On

nikola mirotic returns bulls practice

Amid a season of disappointment, speculation and turmoil, the #TNTBulls have provided fans with the most enjoyable moments. Enjoyable, but also maddening. If Fred Hoiberg’s crew can constantly win games against primetime-worthy opponents, why can’t they beat the NBA’s basement dwellers on a consistent basis?

No one knows.

And yet, the TNT streak lives on as the Bulls conquered LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers on Thursday night 99-93. That’s a 4-0 season sweep over the defending champions and 20 straight wins when the Bulls play home games on TNT. Rajon Rondo led a furious rally in the 3rd quarter, which Chicago won 37-21 to take their first lead since the 1st quarter. Rondo flirted with a triple double, finishing with 7 points, 15 assists and 9 rebounds. The 15 dimes were a season high for the veteran point guard. Jimmy Butler chipped in with 25 points on 10-17 shooting.

But this win was all about the Man of March: Nikola Mirotic.

ThreeKola

Mirotic has been on a tear in the back half of March. His three best scoring nights of the season have come in the last four games. He poured in 28 points each in wins over Detroit and Milwaukee. In those contests Niko shot a combined 10-15 on three pointers. He kept that hot streak going against Cleveland, scoring 28 points again on 6-11 from downtown. In doing so, Mirotic became the first player in Bulls franchise history to make 6 three pointers in back-to-back games.

This was the continuation of another strange trend on #TNTBulls Night. Mirotic led all NBA players in 4th quarter scoring during his rookie campaign of 2014-15. After a disappointing start to his sophomore season, Niko bounced back with another strong March in 2016. This season, his March numbers look like this: 14.2 points (47.9% FG), 5.1 rebounds, 1.5 assists.

Mirotic is entering a restricted free agency this summer. He’s expressed his desire to stay in Chicago, and is playing like he wants to prove to his employers that he’s worth the investment. Can he keep this momentum going as the Bulls fight for a playoff spot?

6 games to play, and the Bulls are 1 game behind Miami and Indiana for the final spot. Let’s hope ThreeKola keeps it going. They’ll need him.

Addison Russell Comes Back With A Vengeance After Missing A Week For The Cubs

There were some rumblings that Addison Russell wouldn’t be healthy enough to start on Opening Day for the Chicago Cubs, but that talk quickly disappeared. As a matter of fact, after missing a week with a back issue, Joe Maddon put Russell back in the lineup for Thursday night’s game against the Houston Astros and objectively speaking he was amazing.

I know there’s been a lot of discussion on who the next big breakout player will be for the Cubs and the popular choice right now seems to be Willson Contreras. I mean, it’s not like you could go wrong picking anyone, but Russell is still only 23-years-old and has a lot of room to get better offensively. Since last year, his teammates have been calling him a future MVP and it’s easy to see why. Russell is already an elite shortstop and his power numbers are going to keep increasing. He hit 21 home runs in 2016, and on Thursday night Russell hit his sixth of the spring.

Russell is also driving the ball to right and right-center, which is a great sign.

So, any panic you might have had about Russell’s back can now be squashed because he looked pretty damn good coming back.

Sunday can’t get here soon enough.