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Benjamin Hill reported earlier today that the Myrtle Beach Pelicans, Class A advanced team of the Chicago Cubs, has offered fans what they call the “50 Shades of Baseball” package for the upcoming season.
Although the “50 Shades of Baseball” isn’t necessarily a themed night per say, the team was clearly trying to strike while the iron was hot since the new “50 Shades” movie was released last week.
My level of confusion peaked when I read the headline of “50 Shades of Baseball” because if you’re unaware, the “50 Shades” movie series has some pretty freaky shit in it. Like tying people up, spanking them, blindfolding them, and doing stuff that most of us would consider borderline torture.
So when you mix that with baseball, I couldn’t comprehend what this ticket package would look like. For instance, can I tie my wife up and make her watch a full nine inning game? Or if she asks me one more time why the pitcher keeps throwing the ball down the middle of the plate, can I just pull off my belt and spank her with it?
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Once I read the press release from the team, I STILL had questions.
Here it is.
Looking for a way to introduce her to your world? Do you fantasize about having a private date at home plate or maybe it’s in the luxury of a private suite?
Don’t get handcuffed trying to find the perfect gift this Valentine’s Day. We have the perfect date night planned and we let you customized your ballpark experience. Don’t have a vanilla relationship…have a baseball relationship.
The Pelicans are offering three packages, all of which include 10 undated ticket vouchers (you think they’d have dates, being Valentine’s Day and all) and a bottle of Champagne. The price points:
$150 — One hour of “private exclusive access” in a luxury suite.
$250 — One hour of “private exclusive access” in the home clubhouse.
$500 — One hour of “private exclusive access” to the playing field.
Now why exactly you’d want to pay $500 for access to a single A ball park with a bottle of cheap champagne is beyond me but hey, I guess some folks may be into that stuff.
