100 Predictions For The 2019 Chicago Cubs

You think doing 219 predictions is dumb, a waste of time and absolutely crazy, well I wanted to do 2,019 predictions but I only thought about this a few of these and then realized 2,019 is actually a pretty big number.

Anyway, here are 219 predictions for the 2019 Chicago Cubs.
edit: lmao 219 is also more than I thought. Here are 100 predictions.

1. first hit – Almora
   instantly becomes Cubs best hitter in eyes of obsessed Almora fans
2. first HR – Rizzo
   back to killing lefties, hits it off Minor
3. first BB – Schwarber
   Mr. OBP
4. first K – Heyward
   at least it’s not a double play!
5. first 2B – Bryant
   my MVP
6. first 3B – Baez
   the most electric player in MLB
7. first player thrown out trying to stretch single into double – Contreras
   I love Willson, but slow it down big fella!
8. first player fans get mad at for bunting – Almora
   stop bunting
9. first Jon Lester fist pump – 5th inning @TEX, K to get out of jam.
   or in the 2nd inning when Baez makes a crazy over the shoulder catch.
10. first save – Strop
    Lots of fist pumps coming from Pedro this season.
11. last save – Strop
    sorry Brandon, you lost your job.
12. Brandon Morrow pitches in 40 games.
    More than last year! He only pitched in 35 in 2018 and 45 in 2017.
13. first starter to give up a HR – Darvish
    and fans freak out, but Yu will still be great.
14. first reliever to give up a HR – Brach
    I mean, I don’t think he’s throwing 90mph yet.
15. first time fans get mad at Maddon – Opening Day
    it’ll be because of the lineup, obviously
16. how many different lineups will Maddon have – 121
    imagine thinking Joe is going to stick with a set lineup
17. first to 10 HRs – Schwarber
    all the dingers, well kind of.
18. first to 20 HRs – Baez
    Javy goes nuts in July and August
19. first to 30 HRs – Bryant
    my MVP
20. first to 40 HRs – Bryant
    I already told you he’s my MVP!
21. how many Cubs players finish with 30+ HRs – 4
    Baez, Bryant, Rizzo and Schwarber
22. first to 10 wins – Darvish
    Yu’s gonna prove the haters wrong
23. first to 50 RBIs – Rizzo
    my captain
24. first to 100 RBIs – Rizzo
    my captain, Mr. Consistency
25. first to 100 Ks – Schwarber
    I mean, he’s still gonna be good
26. highest OBP – Bryant
    MY MVP!
27. most HRs – Bryant
    let’s say 42
28. most RBIs – Rizzo
    he beats out Bryant
29. most runs scored – Bryant
    yes, I think Kris Bryant is going to be good if you hadn’t noticed.
30. highest batting average – Bryant
    I think Kris Bryant is going to be really good.
31. first to go on injured list – Rosario
    sorry, but you’re still the GOAT
32. first minor league call up – Kyle Ryan
    for Randy Rosario
33. first time Chatwood causes fans to have a heart attack – Opening Day
    Cubs are going to be up 4 and he’s gonna load the bases with 2 outs.
34. first blown save – Cishek
    Hoping his arm isn’t dead after pitching a billion innings in 2018.
35. will a Cubs pitcher hit a home run – yes
    Jon Lester, hell yeah
36. first game rained out – April 10
    it always rains at Wrigley in April
37. who gets more starts, Descalso or Bote – #13
    David Bote wears #13 in case you didn’t know
38. first late-inning, game-winning hit – Bote
    I hope he bat flips again, bat flips are fun.
39. first walk-off hit – Baez
    El Mago
40. first walk-off HR – Schwarber
    over the right-field scoreboard
41. Jason Heyward has a .750+ OPS
    I believe in miracles too.
42. Contreras walks more times than Almora and Baez combined
    I think Willy’s gonna be good again.
43. Almora hits .290
    and some fans, won’t name names, anoint him the best hitter on the team
44. Jose Quintana has a 3.31 ERA
    not bad for a fifth starter
45. Jon Lester has a 3.83 ERA
    hey, that’s still very good, don’t hate me.
46. Cole Hamels has a 4.19 ERA
    they can’t all be good, plus that’s not too bad.
47. Kyle Hendricks has a 3.12 ERA
    he’s really good, guys, like really good.
48. Yu Darvish has a 3.28 ERA
    and for some reason some fans will still hate him
49. fans pronounce Dakota Mekkes’ last name incorrectly until it’s mentioned on TV
    but the same fans will still get it wrong anyway
50. Allen Webster becomes a bullpen hero after Kintzler gets cut loose
    another $5 million down the drain with Kintzler
51. Tyler Chatwood doesn’t actually end up being the worst pitcher ever
    I’m ready to believe again, don’t hurt me, Tyler.
52. Addison Russell is the first major Cubs player to pop up in trade rumors
    and he won’t be the last.
53. Ian Happ comes back and has a fine season
    there’s too much talent for him to fail.
54. Ian Happ also pops up in trade rumors
    trade deadline SZN.
55. The Cubs get another catcher
    sorry Victor, I hope you prove me wrong.
56. Ben Zobrist lands on the injured list
    it won’t be serious, but they’ll do it because of a roster crunch
57. The Cubs have a 10-game winning streak
    hopefully it’s early in the season to get off on a great start.
58. The Cubs go on a 5-game losing streak
    and fans burn down Twitter.
59. The Cubs then win 5 in a row after the 5-game losing streak
    but some fans still hate the team
60. Dillon Maples will strike out the side
    and I’ll fall in love with his slider again.
61. Dillon Maples will walk 2, hit a batter, throw a wild pitch in one inning
    and I’ll be reminded why he still hasn’t stuck on a MLB bullpen.
62. Adbert Alzolay makes his MLB debut in June
    and fans mispronounce/misspell his name 93% of the time on the radio/internet
63. Kris Bryant makes the NL All-Star Team
    as a starter, 3B, duh
64. Kris Bryant hits a triple in the All-Star Game
    stud
65. Kyle Schwarber makes the NL All-Star Team
    big year coming for our LEFT FIELDER
66. And then Schwarber hits a home run in the 5th inning
    459 foot bomb.
67. Kyle Hendricks makes the NL All-Star Team
    has the wildest party with Kris Bryant, Kyle Schwarber and Yu Darvish.
68. Yu Darvish makes the NL All-Star Team
    and gets the win in the All-Star Game.
69. Kyle Schwarber walks 69 times
    nice.
70. Nico Hoerner has a .900 OPS in the minors
    so hoerny for Hoerner.
71. Nico Hoerner gets called up in September
    and hits a double in his first at-bat.
72. Daniel Descalso plays way too much
    but he’s not too bad, just kinda average
73. Kris Bryant makes a start at all three outfield positions at least once.
74. Carl Edwards Jr. has a 1.91 ERA.
75. Cubs have a winning record in every month.
76. Fake computer name Cardinals minor leaguer has a career game against the Cubs.
77. Mike Trout only hits two home runs against the Cubs.
78. Cole Hamels gets ejected for throwing at a hitter.
79. Addison Russell gets cheered way too much by fans at Wrigley Field his first game back.
80. Bruce Levine writes a terrible article about Russell’s “redemption”
81. Bob Nightengale writes an even worse article about Russell’s “redemption”
82. Jon Heyman tops Levine and Nightengale with one bad Russell tweet
83. Benches clear between Cubs and Brewers, but no actual fighting occurs
84. Brewers Twitter account posts several cringe-worthy tweets about the Cubs.
85. Cubs fans make up most of the attendance in Milwaukee for Cubs vs. Brewers games
86. Kyle Hendricks throws a no-hitter.
87. Yu Darvish strikes out 219 batters.
88. Cubs end the season with 3 top-100 prospects.
89. Joe Maddon gets contract extension through 2021.
90. Kris Bryant wins 2019 MVP.
91. Javier Baez wins gold glove.
92. Anthony Rizzo wins gold glove.
93. Willson Contreras is a gold glove finalist.
94. Ben Zobrist hits a home run in last game at Wrigley Field.
95. Cubs win 93 games.
96. Cubs win the division.
97. Cubs win NLDS over Cardinals.
98. Cubs win NLCS over Nationals.
99. Cubs lose World Series to Yankees.
100. You cry at the end of prediction #99.

Feel free to send along any of your Cubs predictions.

2019 Cubs predictions, good, bad, weird. Let me hear em.

— Aldo Soto (@AldoSoto21) March 27, 2019